by Shaunti Feldhahn
I started a Christian book review sub board on a message board I regularly frequent.
I thought some of you would be interested in two I've recommended:
For Women Only by Shaunti Fedhahn
She and a survey team from Decision Analyst did a blind random study and interviewed 400 anonymous men. She followed this with two more studies. Her book explains 7 insights, such as what it means for men to be "visual creatures", and do they really want you to dress up in full make up every day? How do they view love and respect? And other fascinating, timeless questions.
I read this and gained a much better understanding of how men think, in general. Of course, some specifics didn't necessarily apply to my dh but in general, wow!!!! I was really surprised by what the author discovered. I think this has helped me relate better to Terry.
Additionally, I must recommend Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers.
She is one of my favorite Christian fiction authors.
This book is amazing. She takes the life of Hosea and sets it in the wild west during the gold rush in the 1800s. It set such a vivid picture of Hosea's love for his prostitute wife and God's love for his disobedient children. . . . it has stayed with me, changed my heart somehow. It's beautifully written and has such a clear purpose about it. So go read those and I'll post again the next time I read something worth telling the world about.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Monday, June 29, 2009
Denominational Preferences
I'm really struggling with church selection. In Utah, we LOVED our non-denominational church. It was very conservative, but the people were wonderful and Terry and I learned so much about the Bible and authenticity and supporting other believers.
Upon our return to Florida, we realized that the church we used to attend, an E-Free church, didn't fit us anymore. Some of the teachings weren't Bible based and we were uncomfortable with that. So then we went to a Baptist-based church. The people are nice enough, many of our friends attend there, and it works okay for us, with the exception of requiring a believer's baptism. Terry and I were baptized in Utah because we felt it was a demonstration of our commitment to Christ, a rebirth in our spirits and obedience to what we believed we were called to do. Of course, United Methodists practice infant baptism in place of circumcision, essentially. And UMCs only baptize once, because to be baptized as an infant and then again as a believer is like saying the first baptism didn't count.
Baptists and proponents of believers' baptisms would say that the first one really DIDNT count. They have infant dedications, instead. I know I've over simplified, but stay with me as I go through this.
When we first began looking for a home church, we checked out the local Methodist church and found it to be more the country club types. clearly we did not fit. But we wanted a larger church with solid Biblical teaching, children's programs, contemporary music and small groups to get to know each other. Which is how we ended up at the Baptist church, despite some theological differences which we have chosen to keep to ourselves.
So back at camp last week, some things hit me. I love the United Methodist Church, despite its imperfections. I grew up United Methodist. I went to a United Methodist College and majored in Religion and Christian Education. I was a camp counselor at the United Methodist Camp. I worked for United Methodist Churches. And I think, deep inside, that is who I am.
At camp, I listened to the children's pastor and really liked what he said. The teenagers and children from his church were insightful, thoughtful, deep and well behaved. It turns out they are from a UMC located less than 12 minutes from us (yes, we visited and yes, we timed it). Grace really liked Sunday School and I really liked the sermon and church service. Several people spoke pleasantly to us in passing. AND I recognized several people who used to attend a different UMC in the area, which was kind of neat for me.
I don't really know where this leaves me. Terry has expressed interest in visiting this church and I suppose we'll take it from there. It's hard with children, because if we didn't have the kids, we'd probably go back and forth for a while. But small children can't take that. We need to commit somewhere. So we'll see.
Upon our return to Florida, we realized that the church we used to attend, an E-Free church, didn't fit us anymore. Some of the teachings weren't Bible based and we were uncomfortable with that. So then we went to a Baptist-based church. The people are nice enough, many of our friends attend there, and it works okay for us, with the exception of requiring a believer's baptism. Terry and I were baptized in Utah because we felt it was a demonstration of our commitment to Christ, a rebirth in our spirits and obedience to what we believed we were called to do. Of course, United Methodists practice infant baptism in place of circumcision, essentially. And UMCs only baptize once, because to be baptized as an infant and then again as a believer is like saying the first baptism didn't count.
Baptists and proponents of believers' baptisms would say that the first one really DIDNT count. They have infant dedications, instead. I know I've over simplified, but stay with me as I go through this.
When we first began looking for a home church, we checked out the local Methodist church and found it to be more the country club types. clearly we did not fit. But we wanted a larger church with solid Biblical teaching, children's programs, contemporary music and small groups to get to know each other. Which is how we ended up at the Baptist church, despite some theological differences which we have chosen to keep to ourselves.
So back at camp last week, some things hit me. I love the United Methodist Church, despite its imperfections. I grew up United Methodist. I went to a United Methodist College and majored in Religion and Christian Education. I was a camp counselor at the United Methodist Camp. I worked for United Methodist Churches. And I think, deep inside, that is who I am.
At camp, I listened to the children's pastor and really liked what he said. The teenagers and children from his church were insightful, thoughtful, deep and well behaved. It turns out they are from a UMC located less than 12 minutes from us (yes, we visited and yes, we timed it). Grace really liked Sunday School and I really liked the sermon and church service. Several people spoke pleasantly to us in passing. AND I recognized several people who used to attend a different UMC in the area, which was kind of neat for me.
I don't really know where this leaves me. Terry has expressed interest in visiting this church and I suppose we'll take it from there. It's hard with children, because if we didn't have the kids, we'd probably go back and forth for a while. But small children can't take that. We need to commit somewhere. So we'll see.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
I LOVE CAMP!!!!
Camp is the best place ever. It's truly a mountaintop experience for me.
I told Grace about scripture in 1 John 4 that says “perfect love casts out fear. . . whoever says they love God and hate their brother is a LIAR. Because if you love God, you will love your brother.” She said, “Thank you for sharing that with me, Mommy.” I didn’t say any more and gave her time to process it. Hours later, she said, “I’m a liar a lot. I’m trying really hard right now(her brother was bothering her) to not be a liar.”
Grace had trouble falling asleep and asked me to lay with her for a while. Usually I don’t have time, but I did tonight. I’m so glad. She had so many God questions-- her mind was overflowing with theology. She liked my small group that talked about forgiveness. She took a rock, told it everything she’d done that was sinful, and threw it in the ocean. She said she liked it when the teacher (counselor) said that God forgives as fast as the rock sank!! Even faster! And then, on her own, Grace asked Jesus to be her best friend forever tonight. I just about cried, I was so glad and proud and humbled that she is my little girl. And a bit surprised, too . . . .I wonder if a 6 year old can make this kind of permanent decision? Will this really set the stage for her salvation? Is this her salvation?
We also prayed that God would give her a kind, loving heart. Then she asked if God could run out of “loving hearts”. I told her no, God gives everyone a heart and builds love in each one. I told her love and kindness are things that she can build in her heart by acting kind every day.
She told me she thought she’d figured out something: God tells us bad things with nightmares, and good things with dreams. I said that God doesn’t usually send nightmares—that’s her mind’s way of thinking when she sleeps sometimes. She asked how God talks to us, then? I told her the Bible is how God talks to us. She said, “Really? So where was Jesus born? What was it like, where he grew up?”
I really needed her to go to sleep so I told her we would read about it in the morning. And to think I could have missed this amazing conversation if I hadn’t snuggled up with her in her bed for a while, at her request.
AJ, too, was speaking theologically tonight. We read a book called “God Created Me”and he actually engaged in conversation about the book, showing me the trucks and the space shuttle, which he particularly liked. He told me, “God made the train! God made the. . . (thinking Space Shuttle, struggling with how to pronounce the sssss). . . .Daddy’s Work! God made Daddy’s Work! And God made the stars!”
I answered, “Yes, and God made Grace and God made mommy and God made AJ!”
He said, “God didn’t make AJ!”
“Who did make AJ, then?”
Long pause. . .giggle.. . “Gracie!”
Tonight was commitment night, and my 11 tweens, ages 11-13, with a 15 year old thrown in the mix for fun, are a typical group. Giggly, talkative, girls, a sensitive, thoughtful young man, the boy who is in a band called “Ever Since November” and always volunteers to pray and who contributes meaningfully to the group discussion, the silent boys, and an ADHDer from the Children’s Home. . . They have awesome questions. The first night alone I was hit with:
“Was there heaven before Jesus? In the Old testament? Because he hadn’t been born or died yet, so how could people be saved?”
“Are all the books of the Bible named after the author? Who was Psalms?”
“Is it okay to have friends who are not Christians?”
“Do you think people who don’t believe in Jesus really go to hell?”
Along with comments such as:
“I don’t think I’d wash Jesus’ feet with my hair. It would depend on how dirty his feet were. And how badly I’d sinned.”
And then tonight:
“I didn’t recommit because I’ve done it every year. It seems like just going through the motions, don’t you think?”
“Do you think God made more than just us? Like, on other planets? (meaning intelligent life. . .) Because I’ve seen some really weird lights in the field near where I used to live.”
Being at camp makes me miss full time ministry. It’s such a high. I don’t think I should place my children in full time child care just so I can follow the highs, but oh, it’s tempting. I miss the teenagers, I miss working with Christian leaders, I miss planning curriculum and events and building relationships with the purpose of introducing others to Jesus. I miss it I miss it I miss it. But I cannot serve two masters. And my family is my master. Terry would support me in full time ministry, and I believe that God will protect my children and give them what they need when I follow Him. But I suspect that following Him means raising my babies and holding on to this dream until further notice.
Interestingly, one of my former youth group members—my favorite student, to be honest—is on team for her third consecutive summer. I’m so proud of her. I knew there was something sensitive and deep and gifted about her, and I’m thrilled that she is serving God and others in this way. I have prayed for her over the past 5 years and wondered who she had become. To see the woman God has created in her creates such awe for me. I think I’m actually speechless.
I told Grace about scripture in 1 John 4 that says “perfect love casts out fear. . . whoever says they love God and hate their brother is a LIAR. Because if you love God, you will love your brother.” She said, “Thank you for sharing that with me, Mommy.” I didn’t say any more and gave her time to process it. Hours later, she said, “I’m a liar a lot. I’m trying really hard right now(her brother was bothering her) to not be a liar.”
Grace had trouble falling asleep and asked me to lay with her for a while. Usually I don’t have time, but I did tonight. I’m so glad. She had so many God questions-- her mind was overflowing with theology. She liked my small group that talked about forgiveness. She took a rock, told it everything she’d done that was sinful, and threw it in the ocean. She said she liked it when the teacher (counselor) said that God forgives as fast as the rock sank!! Even faster! And then, on her own, Grace asked Jesus to be her best friend forever tonight. I just about cried, I was so glad and proud and humbled that she is my little girl. And a bit surprised, too . . . .I wonder if a 6 year old can make this kind of permanent decision? Will this really set the stage for her salvation? Is this her salvation?
We also prayed that God would give her a kind, loving heart. Then she asked if God could run out of “loving hearts”. I told her no, God gives everyone a heart and builds love in each one. I told her love and kindness are things that she can build in her heart by acting kind every day.
She told me she thought she’d figured out something: God tells us bad things with nightmares, and good things with dreams. I said that God doesn’t usually send nightmares—that’s her mind’s way of thinking when she sleeps sometimes. She asked how God talks to us, then? I told her the Bible is how God talks to us. She said, “Really? So where was Jesus born? What was it like, where he grew up?”
I really needed her to go to sleep so I told her we would read about it in the morning. And to think I could have missed this amazing conversation if I hadn’t snuggled up with her in her bed for a while, at her request.
AJ, too, was speaking theologically tonight. We read a book called “God Created Me”and he actually engaged in conversation about the book, showing me the trucks and the space shuttle, which he particularly liked. He told me, “God made the train! God made the. . . (thinking Space Shuttle, struggling with how to pronounce the sssss). . . .Daddy’s Work! God made Daddy’s Work! And God made the stars!”
I answered, “Yes, and God made Grace and God made mommy and God made AJ!”
He said, “God didn’t make AJ!”
“Who did make AJ, then?”
Long pause. . .giggle.. . “Gracie!”
Tonight was commitment night, and my 11 tweens, ages 11-13, with a 15 year old thrown in the mix for fun, are a typical group. Giggly, talkative, girls, a sensitive, thoughtful young man, the boy who is in a band called “Ever Since November” and always volunteers to pray and who contributes meaningfully to the group discussion, the silent boys, and an ADHDer from the Children’s Home. . . They have awesome questions. The first night alone I was hit with:
“Was there heaven before Jesus? In the Old testament? Because he hadn’t been born or died yet, so how could people be saved?”
“Are all the books of the Bible named after the author? Who was Psalms?”
“Is it okay to have friends who are not Christians?”
“Do you think people who don’t believe in Jesus really go to hell?”
Along with comments such as:
“I don’t think I’d wash Jesus’ feet with my hair. It would depend on how dirty his feet were. And how badly I’d sinned.”
And then tonight:
“I didn’t recommit because I’ve done it every year. It seems like just going through the motions, don’t you think?”
“Do you think God made more than just us? Like, on other planets? (meaning intelligent life. . .) Because I’ve seen some really weird lights in the field near where I used to live.”
Being at camp makes me miss full time ministry. It’s such a high. I don’t think I should place my children in full time child care just so I can follow the highs, but oh, it’s tempting. I miss the teenagers, I miss working with Christian leaders, I miss planning curriculum and events and building relationships with the purpose of introducing others to Jesus. I miss it I miss it I miss it. But I cannot serve two masters. And my family is my master. Terry would support me in full time ministry, and I believe that God will protect my children and give them what they need when I follow Him. But I suspect that following Him means raising my babies and holding on to this dream until further notice.
Interestingly, one of my former youth group members—my favorite student, to be honest—is on team for her third consecutive summer. I’m so proud of her. I knew there was something sensitive and deep and gifted about her, and I’m thrilled that she is serving God and others in this way. I have prayed for her over the past 5 years and wondered who she had become. To see the woman God has created in her creates such awe for me. I think I’m actually speechless.
Monday, June 15, 2009
Dinner Fun
Grace asked if we could have a Hawaiian Dinner tonight. She wanted to wear her new lei and flower barrette. She even invited her Nana to stay for dinner (Nana was watching the kids while Terry and I had a meeting today).
So we went to Petty's and bought their Polynesian Chicken stir fry, which happened to be on sale. We cooked Carribbean Rice (out of a box) and made salads with fresh veggies from the garden. I wore a "fancy" dress for the occasion, which met with Grace's approval. We also used the kids' brightly colored plates for the occasion.
My mom helped the kids make hula costumes out of garbage bags. AJ especially liked dancing in his, "like a cowboy", he says.
We finished the evening with strawberry shortcake. Grace sliced the strawberries, spooned them into the shortcakes and learned how to work the whipped cream can. Fun stuff! She taste tested everything, too.
How to make military corners
I may never be a fighter pilot, but I can make my bed military-style! Flat sheets sure are less expensive than fitteds. . . When I make beds, they always look like the kids did it. I'm going to try this one day!
Military Corners
Military Corners
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Thirty
Thirty years old is exactly 6 months away for me. I know it's NOT "old", but never has it seemed so old than when I hit 29 last December. I've heard people say that their 30's have been so much better than their 20's. But I have enjoyed my 20s. I like feeling young. I like not having smile lines yet.
When people mention birthdays or the number 30, my chest tightens and my heart starts pounding. It's ludicrous, I know. Especially considering ALL of my "mom club" friends are older than me by at least 3 years. And Terry hit 30 umm. . a while ago. It just kind of smarts to know that the 20's are ending. I didn't party them up, I didn't get to travel everywhere, I didn't have a fabulous, all consuming career that paid me actual money. I became a wife and then a mom in my twenties. And I'm so grateful for my children. Becoming a parent matured me in a way that nothing else could have. I learned to be selfless, giving, caring, for my children and my husband and my friends in ways that I would not have otherwise learned.
But to close the chapter of the "20s" is just so weird. It feels like now I have to be a grown up. Now I have to watch what I eat. Yes, I know I'm fat. But I didn't really care in my twenties. Becoming old and having to worry about my heart and cholesterol is not really on the radar of someone in their twenties. Now I'm starting to care.
And I feel greatly the loss of potential. When I was 7, I wanted to be the First Woman President. Then I decided I'd be a doctor. Obviously, I am neither. Instead of focusing on what I am, I've been looking at what I am not. And what I have LOST the potential for. I can never be a fighter pilot. I suspect I can never join the military due to my knees. I can never be the first woman to run for president. And you know what? I don't WANT to do any of these things. But I can't help but grieve for the loss of those "maybes". It's so easy to smugly feel like, "I'm young, if I wanted to do x, I could." But when x is no longer an option, it pains me.
Anyhow, I recommend not discussing age around me. And I strongly suggest everyone refrain from contacting me on my birthday. I plan to ship my children to their Nana and drink until I feel 21 again.
When people mention birthdays or the number 30, my chest tightens and my heart starts pounding. It's ludicrous, I know. Especially considering ALL of my "mom club" friends are older than me by at least 3 years. And Terry hit 30 umm. . a while ago. It just kind of smarts to know that the 20's are ending. I didn't party them up, I didn't get to travel everywhere, I didn't have a fabulous, all consuming career that paid me actual money. I became a wife and then a mom in my twenties. And I'm so grateful for my children. Becoming a parent matured me in a way that nothing else could have. I learned to be selfless, giving, caring, for my children and my husband and my friends in ways that I would not have otherwise learned.
But to close the chapter of the "20s" is just so weird. It feels like now I have to be a grown up. Now I have to watch what I eat. Yes, I know I'm fat. But I didn't really care in my twenties. Becoming old and having to worry about my heart and cholesterol is not really on the radar of someone in their twenties. Now I'm starting to care.
And I feel greatly the loss of potential. When I was 7, I wanted to be the First Woman President. Then I decided I'd be a doctor. Obviously, I am neither. Instead of focusing on what I am, I've been looking at what I am not. And what I have LOST the potential for. I can never be a fighter pilot. I suspect I can never join the military due to my knees. I can never be the first woman to run for president. And you know what? I don't WANT to do any of these things. But I can't help but grieve for the loss of those "maybes". It's so easy to smugly feel like, "I'm young, if I wanted to do x, I could." But when x is no longer an option, it pains me.
Anyhow, I recommend not discussing age around me. And I strongly suggest everyone refrain from contacting me on my birthday. I plan to ship my children to their Nana and drink until I feel 21 again.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
VBS-Day 3
We showed up, a bit late due to AJ's reluctance to get ready. (as usual) He woke up irritable, as usual. Didn't want to use the potty, as usual. Finally used the potty after about 15 minutes of temper. Wouldn't eat hi waffles or cantaloupe, as usual. I told him he had to eat it in the car then or I would take him back home. He finally took a few bites of each. Then he decided at church that he needed to use the potty before I took him to the nursery. *sigh*
An hour later, the nursery workers came to get me. Guess who's throwing up? AJ. I guess he actually had a legitimate reason to be irritable this morning. However, none of this behavior was abnormal for him until he threw up. I'll pick Grace up around 12. So here we are, AJ and I, back at home watching "Phineas and Ferb". He's whining that he wants a snack. But every good mother knows that will not do ANYTHING helpful. So I'm trying to fend him off and get his mind off of his tummy. Poor guy.
To top it all off, it was "crazy hair day" at VBS. And to participate, I put some fun bows in my hair and some extra pony tails. If I'm not at VBS, i'm certainly not going to walk around like that. So take down the hair, go for the boring pony tail, change out of the super cool VBS shirt and hope vomit doesn't get on me today.
An hour later, the nursery workers came to get me. Guess who's throwing up? AJ. I guess he actually had a legitimate reason to be irritable this morning. However, none of this behavior was abnormal for him until he threw up. I'll pick Grace up around 12. So here we are, AJ and I, back at home watching "Phineas and Ferb". He's whining that he wants a snack. But every good mother knows that will not do ANYTHING helpful. So I'm trying to fend him off and get his mind off of his tummy. Poor guy.
To top it all off, it was "crazy hair day" at VBS. And to participate, I put some fun bows in my hair and some extra pony tails. If I'm not at VBS, i'm certainly not going to walk around like that. So take down the hair, go for the boring pony tail, change out of the super cool VBS shirt and hope vomit doesn't get on me today.
Monday, June 8, 2009
Must gloat.
For vacation Bible School, all the volunteers have to wear volunteer T-shirts. I look horrible in plain, crew cut, T-shirts. So. . .
I started to think fancy. I took a huge shirt and trimmed it to size according to a shirt I own that fits properly. Then I snipped a V in the middle and voila! A V-Neck T-shirt! The sleeves and shoulders were awfully big, so I added a couple of long stitches along the shoulder seam, pulled on the threads and created gathered shoulders. They pulled up the shirt and look so cute! Here's a pic I took. . not the most flattering, but I think you'll at least get the idea of the shirt!
Lastly, I pulled out my serger and used orange variegated thread to create a lettuce edge around the sleeves and bottom of the shirt. I totally rocked out VBS today!!! :)
I received many compliments. And was rather proud of my efforts until Grace told me later, "Mommy, your shirt looks weird. It looks like you cut the front of it."
I replied, " I Did, Grace. Do you want me to make yours like mine?"
In response, she burst into (fake) tears. I take that as a "no."
Oh yeah, VBS went great today. Our leader in charge of all 1st grade seemed super frazzled and stressed. I dont know why--this was the most organized vacation bible school I've ever been associated with! No children were lost, everyone made it to snack, no one had a potty accident, and the kids seemed reasonably happy.
Grace told me that tomorrow, they will be "painting something Jewish". She concluded that they will bring in her best friend, who is Jewish, and everyone will paint her.
I started to think fancy. I took a huge shirt and trimmed it to size according to a shirt I own that fits properly. Then I snipped a V in the middle and voila! A V-Neck T-shirt! The sleeves and shoulders were awfully big, so I added a couple of long stitches along the shoulder seam, pulled on the threads and created gathered shoulders. They pulled up the shirt and look so cute! Here's a pic I took. . not the most flattering, but I think you'll at least get the idea of the shirt!
Lastly, I pulled out my serger and used orange variegated thread to create a lettuce edge around the sleeves and bottom of the shirt. I totally rocked out VBS today!!! :)
I received many compliments. And was rather proud of my efforts until Grace told me later, "Mommy, your shirt looks weird. It looks like you cut the front of it."
I replied, " I Did, Grace. Do you want me to make yours like mine?"
In response, she burst into (fake) tears. I take that as a "no."
Oh yeah, VBS went great today. Our leader in charge of all 1st grade seemed super frazzled and stressed. I dont know why--this was the most organized vacation bible school I've ever been associated with! No children were lost, everyone made it to snack, no one had a potty accident, and the kids seemed reasonably happy.
Grace told me that tomorrow, they will be "painting something Jewish". She concluded that they will bring in her best friend, who is Jewish, and everyone will paint her.
Friday, June 5, 2009
Kidnapping Ring
Grace said to Kellyn and I, "It would be so fun to have a kidnapping ring!"
My sister began to look worried. I asked, "What is a kidnapping ring?" (See, I'm getting smarter!)
Grace said, "It's a ring that hooks on your finger and snaps in place!"
Oh, you're right, Grace. A kidnapping ring would be fun.
And then she continued: "It would also be fun to have a Captur-ring."
Kellyn, catching on, said, "What's a capturing?"
"A ring that goes on two fingers, like this!" She informed us, demonstrating with a pretzel.
My sister began to look worried. I asked, "What is a kidnapping ring?" (See, I'm getting smarter!)
Grace said, "It's a ring that hooks on your finger and snaps in place!"
Oh, you're right, Grace. A kidnapping ring would be fun.
And then she continued: "It would also be fun to have a Captur-ring."
Kellyn, catching on, said, "What's a capturing?"
"A ring that goes on two fingers, like this!" She informed us, demonstrating with a pretzel.
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