Going back to Utah

It wasn't until I saw all my friends and family again that I realized how much I've missed everyone. My kids have soaked up every minute with mom and dad and kyle and kellyn. So have I, if truth be told. I've enjoyed catching a movie with my mom, stealing the crossword puzzle in the paper from my dad, hanging out with Kyle and Kellyn. . . joking with them and knowing my sarcasm is appreciated. Usually.

And oh, my friends. . . .
Elizabeth and I have been friends since 1998, when we met as camp counselors--and oh, the drama! of that summer--I was matron of honor in her wedding, and we are godmothers to each others' children. . . Tracy and I have memories that go way back, to before I married Terry and to before either of us had babies . . . .Carin watched Grace when AJ was born and was a sounding board filled with wisdom and grace. . . .Cindy and I used to go out for a girls night, just the two of us, for Margaritas and soft shell crab sandwiches at Port Canaveral--she is the most kind, compassionate person that I have EVER met. . . I saw my friend Hilary EVERY day b/c I watched Alexis, and she has been generous times a million with me. . . .all of our play dates at the park, since the time our first born were just weeks old, our group girls nights out at The Melting Pot and Conchy Joe's and random restaurants. . . It takes time to build friendship like that. The kind of friendship where you can make an offhand comment and know that your friend will assume the best and not the worst. Where you can be who you are, share your hopes and dreams with your friends, talk about your marriage and your faith and your struggles and triumphs. Where you can cry and know that they won't think you're depressed, they'll know you're having a sensitive moment and send you cards that say it's okay to feel the way you do.

And to be hit with all that and realize how empty and lonely I feel in Utah, compared with the richness and fullness of relationships in Florida, has been incredibly emotional for me. And I saw the same in my daughter. She glowed with Alexis and Grace and Gracie and Joel and Collin. She loved having her friends back. And AJ loved playing with kids his age, too. . . the younger siblings. How funny it was that Carin, Cindy and I all had little boys within a few months of each other. How lucky for our children. And it breaks my heart that I must go away again, and we must forge new friendships, new relationships, with new insecurities, and more hard work. I know it can be done. But sometimes, I just want to bask in the security, comfort, and joy of those I already have.

Pickens Plan

The Pickens Plan

The main idea seems to be harnessing wind power and decreasing our dependency on oil. So far, I like what I've been reading. Check it out! I'd love to hear what others think about this. I'm not technically oriented at all, so I have no idea how the logistics will work. It sounds as if we have the technology, we just need to expand where it's currently located?

Tyler Florence Meatloaf

This meatloaf is so good. It's our favorite meatloaf recipe, tangy due to the special tomato relish you make to accent the meatloaf flavor. mmmm!!!

Tyler Florence's Dad's Meatloaf Recipe

Life.

I was on team at camp in 1998. One of the girls who was also on team died a few weeks ago, apparently of a brain tumor. She had a one year old daughter. And this was quite unexpected.

Her husband has kept up their blog, and his raw grief breaks my heart as he describes life as a single parent, missing his wife and putting his trust in Christ one day at a time. One minute at a time, really.

Kristi was sweet, kind, hard working. . . . I always enjoyed talking to her. We were myspace friends, meaning we kept up via bulletin boards and a few random emails here and there.

Please keep her family in your prayers.

Independence Day

I always like to remember what the 4th of July celebrates. I think Independence Day has a much nicer ring than "July 4th". It's incredible that so many people had the vision of what our country could be, and fought hard, giving up their livelihoods, families, and even very life for the sake of freedom. And I'm so grateful that we still have men and women who do that to this day. For those serving our country this minute over seas, thank you. Thank you for defending us and for being willing to make a stand for others who don't have a choice.

As you can see by my 3 posts today, my family is doing nothing celebratory. They strongly suggested I not take the kids to see fireworks, as they don't like loud noises any more than I did/do. So we're grilling hotdogs in a little bit. And my brother just got back with a friend--they picked up fireworks. So I'm planning to let the kids stay up for the "show" tonight.

The kids are wearing red white and blue. As am I. At least we're patriotic!

Universal Studios

My mom took Grace to Universal Studios last week. Grace is very cautious, and I wondered how she was going to take all the rides. She avoided almost everything at the park--even the kids' rides! She liked the playground in Dr Seuss Land and rode the spinning hats (they turn three times, total). Everything was: too loud, too crazy, too high, too wet, too dark, too scary, too spinny, too fast, etc. She asked the employee when they were in line to ride the train:

"Is it loud?"

"No."

"Does it go upside down?"

"No."

"Does it go too fast?"

"No."

So she reluctantly climbed in with a death grip on my mom's hand!! Funny girl. She ended up having a great day. I'm just glad she got on the airplane with me to fly to North Carolina. We had major turbulence on the way, which was quite scary for her (and me). I hope I can get her on one again for the flight back to Utah!

Finally better!

It takes longer than I'd thought for all the meds to kick in. Today is the first day in a week that my head hasn't ached. I took Grace and AJ and Kellyn to breakfast at a new place in town called TooJay's. It was a delicious, reasonably priced meal. I had French toast which was made with fresh challah bread. YUM! A server resembled my brother, and every time he walked by, AJ pointed at him and engaged the server in conversation. It was quite cute.

Grace has a cold now. Her nose is runny and she has a post-nasal cough thing going on. She was miserable until I gave her a dose of Motrin. Now she says she's much better. I hope it doesn't turn into an infection on her.

I think we're going to my parents' condo at New Smyrna Beach next week. My mom plans to stay for the whole week, which means I'm going to have to back out of the Bible study I had planned to go to at church. It's just as well. . .

I always thought if we moved back to Orlando, we'd attend my home church. But I don't feel connected anymore, and frankly, it seems like the church has grown very impersonal now. I don't really enjoy the traditional service the way I used to. And it's not as Bible-based as I would prefer. It's odd to come to this realization. I go to church to worship God, not be entertained by a choir and a gifted speaker. And I enjoy hearing the sermons, but then my parents pick it apart if it's not a sermon by the head pastor, who has a gift for eloquence, charisma and public speaking. It shouldn't be a SHOW, though. It's supposed to draw us to the heart of God, and I don't sense that anymore at St. Luke's. Yet at the same time--that's why I attend services when I'm in town.

I go to church to worship God, and it's not about me. So I go. And then I have to hunt down my family, who slipped out at 12:00 because they don't stay in church past noon, and I didn't know that, and was sitting in the back so I didn't have to climb over my family after dropping Grace off in childcare (don't get me started on THAT fiasco) and so I don't disturb everyone around with my horrible cough. I think it's the height of rudeness to leave a worship service early. And it's completely disrespectful. So this Sunday, I think I'm going to stay home in the morning and take my children to the evening contemporary service. Perhaps that will work more smoothly.

It's kind of nice to know that my church home really truly is at Alpine Church, in Utah. It's the best part about Utah, IMO. The members there have become family to Terry and I. The staff have gone out of their way to welcome us and befriend us. The people in our home group have become authentic friends--people I can talk to beyond "How are you?" and "Fine." They pray for and with us, they care about us, and we care about them. We look to the Bible for guidance, not the latest pop-culture speaker. Our pastor and his wife even watched our little dog, Angel, while I was in FL and Terry had to travel with work. They've been beyond friends to us, and we're so grateful to have all of these people in our lives.

Sinusitis.

It sucks to get sick when you're on vacation. I caught a cold from my grandfather (who actually had pneumonia) and it developed into sinusitis. I have severe pain in my face, around the sinus cavities including my cheeks, forehead, and upper jaw. There is a cough that goes with this, and every time I cough, it hurts my face. I went to an Urgent Care last night and they gave me cough medicine with codeine, a dose pack to clear the sinuses and an antibiotic. I thought I'd feel better by now, since I started the meds 16 hours ago. no dice.

My mom said yesterday, "I bet my back hurts as much as your sinuses" after cleaning the condo for the renters this week. (The kids and I went to their condo at New Smyrna Beach for the weekend) Today she said, "Everyone knows you're not feeling well. But i think you're going to have to get up and help AJ." Aj was being ornery and no one else knew what to do with him. And then, "If you get up, you'll feel better." I'm up. not feeling better.

Funny-the dr told me to get LOTS of rest. he was very concerned and told me if I got worse I needed to go to the ER. *sigh*