I don't want to go to Heaven.

"I just want to go to Florida."--Grace, talking with her daycare teacher when she was protesting naptime last Friday.

My little girl is homesick. She strikes me as so vulnerable all of a sudden. In Florida, she was very confident and there was nothing she and her best friend, Alexis, couldn't conquer together. She's more serious now, more emotional.

In dance class today, her bow came partway out of her hair. She tried to communicate that to her teacher, but apparently was misunderstood. She just cried harder, and I was on the other floor checking AJ in the gym nursery. By the time I got back upstairs, she was sobbing hysterically. I pulled her out of the class (at the teacher's suggestions) and fixed her bow. She went back in, danced, and then the stupid bow fell again. So I tucked the bow in my pocket. She was sniffling but okay.

Then Terry arrived (unbeknownst to Grace) and watched her dance next to the teacher (all the other girls were in line facing G and the teacher). The teacher all of a sudden motioned Grace away, and Grace crumpled to the floor, sobbing. I walked in to get her, but the teacher motioned me away. Fine. She told Grace that when the music is on, she cannot hear Grace and Grace must wait until the music stops. Grace just sat on the floor, curled in a ball, with her head in her hands, sniffling and crying. It broke my heart to see her like that. I suspect it was extra difficult to pull it together with 8 little girls all lined up watching her cry. I wish she had been able to go to the back of the room or outside the class until she could calm herself. The teacher told me afterwards that she wanted the girls to understand that she is in control. I understand that. I do think that the teacher could have repositioned Grace or suggested an alternative than sitting in front of the room with everyone staring at her.

On the way downstairs, Grace commented that Ms. Natalie was "mean". I asked her why she thought so. Grace said, "I didn't know that I can't talk to her when the music is playing."

I replied, "Do you understand that now?", trying to debrief her on an emotionally difficult time. I wanted to point out that it's okay, and it's good she knows the rules now so she won't have to go through that again.

Instead, Terry cut me off. He told me I was lecturing her and to just give her a break?!?! She didn't need to rehash it and I should let it go. She brought it up, and I was supporting her. I felt like I was suckerpunched. I know it was hard for him to watch her like that, I know he wanted to rescue her. So did I. But I also wanted her to have a better understanding of what was going on so that she could feel good about going back in 2 weeks (not next week due to Thanksgiving).

I feel so alone sometimes.