Rollercoaster of gallstones

I've gone from pure joy to sheer terror this week.

Joy over the baby. . . . and then I ate pizza. 2 slices of veggie pizza, to be exact. This caused terrible pain that lasted for at least 6 hours. I chalked it up to "gas" and moved on.

A week later, we made homemade pepperoni pizza. 8 hours of incredible pain followed. Definitely not gas. I saw my PCP, because the birthing center is an hour away and their OB wouldn't see me for 2 weeks. She scheduled me for an ultrasound.

I did get a peek at the baby as an incidental "perk" of getting to know the tech, who was 36 wks pregnant herself. It was neat to see the little "flicker" that is the baby.

As it turns out, my gallbladder is full of gallstones. I'm supposed to meet with a surgeon soon to review my options. They seem to be:

1. Surgery during the 2nd trimester to remove the gallbladder. Theoretically, this is safer than the first trimester and by the third trimester, the baby is too large to safely go in and remove the gallbladder. I hate to think of how the anesthesia and antibiotics may effect the baby. I mean, I'm trying so hard to have a natural, medication-free labor to protect the baby, and then to just roll in for surgery? Plus, this counts as abdominal surgery and how will that affect my chances of having a natural delivery vs. a c/section?

2. Suck it up? I've only had 2 attacks and I've eaten extremely low fat foods ever since. Nothing like fear of pain to motivate me in a way that Weight Watchers never could. The danger is that pregnancy exacerbates this, and I've heard that by the third trimester, it can get much worse. Besides causing pain, it can turn septic and endanger both me and the baby, causing jaundice, infection, and even meningitis.

3. Cleanse the gallbladder naturally with apples, olive oil and lemon juice. There may be more risk than is worth it, however.

4. Pray for a miracle.

Plus, I just contacted the birthing center again. The midwives will review the gallstones and my record and determine whether it is appropriate for me to continue in their care. Which sucks because I've wanted to deliver a baby there since I first stumbled upon their website over 3 years ago. I do have a wonderful OB, who did a great job with AJ, but the natural setting of The Birth Place really appealed to me. Hospitals tend to make me nervous, and that does not help a woman in labor. I'll have to fight to decline the IV and the electronic monitoring. . . . .anyhow.

I just can't stop freaking out right now. I feel depressed, worried, anxious. . . The Bible says, "Do not worry about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God."

But at this point, I can't help but worry. I can't help but cry. I feel helpless. If it was just ME, it would not be such a big deal. But this can have such a big impact on this new little person.